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Conspiracy fitness and health stuff

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crystalfarm45
Conspiracy fitness and health stuff

Let me start off by saying the first book i ever read with interest in any category (besides anything with nudity in my childhood),
was Convict Conditioning a.k.a. bust free of all weaknesses using prison training tactics...it teaches you how to work out anywhere...
plus it's got a lot of those no-nonsense kind-of teachings in the text and elsewhere, keeping it real and teaching a healthy attitude...
it pretty much engrains the fact, that if you do the work, especially in fitness, it's an area of life where you are guaranteed to get results,
that's what's good about it...in addition, it teaches some rarely known things, about how weight machines and the practice of isolating muscles are...undesirable...
limited range of motion and uneven weight distribution, causing disproportionate changes in the body and a lack of mobility and functional strength.
there's also stuff about food, meditation and steroids and some very interesting stories to go along with that certainly teach a thing or two about life itself...
it's a whole series as far as i know and other weird stuff people might want to know in that category would similarly be interesting, probably, right?
for example, protein powders: i read on some random website, that hemp protein is much better than whey, because whey clumps up the stomach,
and causes bloating...therefore...well, you get the idea...similar thing with supplements...what's really good out there? one of the models for the book,
mr al kavadlo, a fully-tatted english major that's never been to prison, he's frequently seen on instagram giving thumbs down with supplement bottles in his hand...maybe they're onto something...then, i have this other document, that says fruit has double calories when compared to carbohydrates, i.e. sugar candy...
i had some heart issues a while back and i kid you not when for some particular reasons, i had to stop exercising, but continued eating like a commando...
that gave me heart pain and when i switched to (you guessed it), condiments, the pain went away to an extent...so by this logic, this could also be true...
what else? i was on an SSRI the first time i read this (Paxil) and apparently these make people more impressionable...well...within a year after reading it, i was incarcerated, but...the experience itself was highly teaching and what the book taught me stays with me for the rest of my life...i didn't train as much there as i would have liked to, but i am now making up for this (and did so last year as well...). my favorite exercise there are handstand pushups...i just kept doing them all the time and one of the most impressive things to me was how i could do around 10 half ones at around 250 pounds and 5'7"...it seems insane, but that's how it was...

zoopenhoff
High Intensity Training.

The thing I've seen work fastest, for several guys - faster than anything - is Drew Baye's High Intensity Training. There are two e-books and some videos floating around.

euxconcen
you started eating condiments

you started eating condiments? like, mustard and relish??

crystalfarm45
i meant candy and confeteria

chewables like starburst and some more choclatey-bar things...basically: the sugar stuff that kids fill their faces with.
BUT, now that you mention it, this is room for another story...back when i was incarcerated in that place
(which used to be an alcohol rehab centre complex back in Soviet times), i was so hungry from all the meds...
when food ran low, i did this many times, where i would actually put rather strong mustard...on garlic cloves...without anything else...
quite the kick and it did seem to do something...plus, i used to buy bags of sugar, coffee, all that stuff for the hundred bucks,
that was allocated to us every month from our welfare checks (that's like a five-time reduction on the usual rate, but it's still plenty, considering...).
most of it went on cigarettes anyway, and here's a fun fact (which is mentioned in the book, also...): cigarettes are a form of prison currency.
this means that it would be wise to keep a pack on you, even if you don't smoke, because this way, you can get food items through small trades...
(if allowed, of course...). even in real life and in town, there's people always asking for cigarettes (at least over here), so you might as well carry a pack...
oatmeal is standard breakfast every morning...and their varieties....corn porridge too, or whatever it's called...i used to pour sugar in them, eat several bowls...
did you know, that adding these flavored protein powders to these makes one hell of a tasty meal from them? supplements weren't allowed there, but sugar was...
the protein thing i tried from ages ago...it's great and nutritious, apparently...so...with what i heard about "mountains of protein" being able to be made from natural gas,
for cheap, at eight cents per pound...if they added a little bit of flavoring, like they do with those protein powders, preferably with something like stevia...
...you've got one hell of a meal. besides, little things (like blood sugar levels and garlic...) actually do matter...the first psychiatric treatments were insulin comas AFAIK..
phil schneider remembered his stuff only once he fixed his blood sugar issues (apparently, he had diabetes, among other nasty illnesses there...). as per my own experience,
i guarantee you, this is how it works....you're too hungry, this stuff just fades away...it's unaccesible or at least hard to remember, if something's bothering you (such as hunger...).
hence, knowledge can also be derived from this: when you work out, you might NOT have to work harder...just be smarter about it...and the rest could easily be automatic.
such as with regular health trends and advisories....you actually do something else to get to the end result...eat better, work out, be healthier...and all of a sudden...
you make more money, too, somehow....people are nicer to you, or whatever...or you notice your workplace performance and gaming activities getting better, mysteriously...hmh....

euxconcen
sorry to be late responding..

sorry to be late responding... been busy few days
candies! got it
that's a very interesting story, mate, and thank you for speaking a little more plainly... for the first time I feel like I'm learning about you...and, wow, you've been through a heckuva lot! your life could make a movie!

on an unrelated note, RIP Eddie Van Halen
"everybody wants some....how about you?"

crystalfarm45
Hollywood-Youtube leftovers parallel garbage recycling universe
euxconcen wrote:

sorry to be late responding... been busy few days
candies! got it
that's a very interesting story, mate, and thank you for speaking a little more plainly... for the first time I feel like I'm learning about you...and, wow, you've been through a heckuva lot! your life could make a movie!
on an unrelated note, RIP Eddie Van Halen
"everybody wants some....how about you?"

it could...in fact...shit's been completely hilarious in part, in contrast to the rest of the stuff...the apartment i live at is in such bad condition, i've got SBS (sick building syndrome).
apparently, it's also a TV-channel in Australia. this means i've been persistently ill with symptoms of cold, a clogged nose and breathing difficulties (with my history of asthma...).
i sent an e-mail to mr. kim dotcom, the owner of mega (formerly the owner of megaupload), telling him how i had to utilize everything i had learned or even remotely heard of in the past,
in real world scenarios, "heavy artillery from the conspiracy medicine side of things", to even have a chance at survival quote unquote...that's how it's been, unfortunately. the perfect illustration for this is the well-known Mr. Hoover F.B.I. quote...with the twist that there's been no evil people or actions, only stupid ones and poverty...which was more than enough to self-generate around a year of torture conditions behind the iron curtain (in a former Soviet country where it's allegedly long over..."the empire never ended", anyone?). i tried all the agencies...asked all my friends and acquaintances...to this day, i have yet to find a place to even stay overnight, to make things better...yesterday, i slept at the local forest, which i cleaned up last year...tried going to sleep at the apartment, but the nose got so clogged up and breathing so difficult, i just had to pack up my stuff ex-promptu and try that again...my first night pretending to be homeless (properly)...i even made some GoPro videos on my bicycles, along lines of "pretending to be homeless" meaning the more time spent away from the apartment, the better my lungs...in a context of "reasonable street racing". the first day i borrowed the camera, it looked like i got on tape someone on rollerblades that almost got ran over by a van in town, but the footage somehow got corrupted or lost on it's own...i've been under surveillance, probably because i hit every single major keyword in their detection system with my dark humor...
that first day i tried to get as efficient of a route as i could on tape past all the points of interest, such as the embassies and what not...this may have something to do with them being lost.
i really had to motivate myself to do it again and get some actual footage...i stopped e-mailing the local institutions, everything from the health department to the police and feds, due to their non-response and non-action, which had been prolonged...just recently, i e-mailed them my old e-mails (again) and to some others, to show what i asked of them...and by now they had already received what i was going to tell them anyway at the time...for a bit of context, applicable in a real-world scenario...called one of the e-mails "Unanswered e-mails to the Police (and feds), part one, titled "Can i speak to someone from the drugs department...? i have crimes to report", along with their messages...they must be completely embarrased by now, because they have a legal obligation to respond to communications such as these within a month, or within two in exceptional cases...so i stopped trying, because it was clear, that they aren't going to respond to almost anything, and when i did write to someone, it was with the assumption that they wouldn't respond...this was most people, most of the time, everywhere...i picked up on it again, recently, and send the local federal agents and agencies a good 50 dense e-mails within the past few months...stuff like "WTF is this, are we living in some sort of HollyWood-YouTube leftovers recycled parallel garbage universe?", which implies, that after having seen some american movies, they were so close to the real things happening in my life, hence the title assignment...Dr. Greer's analogy would be WSFM (weird science and freaking magic), probably...to give an example: Hanna (2011), is one, where: Erik Heller looks like a 1:1 copy of the Father of my stepsister, who just happens to be a military-inclined girl/woman with a small build...this also applies in terms of personalities, in terms of the dates of significance used in the films and their attributes...i kid you not...in the film, Johanna's mother, looks exactly like a 1:1 carbon copy of my great grandmother, who is in her eighties, closer to ninety than eighty...lives about a mile away...has buried like...three husbands by now...she's healthier than her daughter, who goes there to help out every once in a while...the last time i saw her, she was a redhead...i had a huge problem with her...she looked like a total freaking drug addict from the one coffee she has in the mornings, like a duracell bunny with ADHD and an inflated ego, as is the usual...
The way she speaks and behaves, it's almost as if she'd be shortening the lifespan of the other person, just by her mere existence and presence...this is represented in the film as a point-blank shot to the head...This person reaching her nineties, is a much healthier person (in my opinion), than her daughter, who probably still is in her late fifties...she's had her breasts removed, been through chemo (probably radiation therapies, too...), she lost her son in a car crash back in 05...around his 18th birthday and shortly before graduation....
fell out of the car, car smashed the guy and his head to bits, closed casket...i wasn't there...he looked unhappy on every single picture i saw of him...which means, good for him, probably.
now, as for the TV-series, of Hanna...Marissa Wiegler is a much nicer person there...she looks like a 1:1 carbon copy of my Dad's new girlfriend from a few years ago already...guess what...she has a daughter named Mia (and in the series they pretend to be that...mother and daughter, otherwise known as "related"). even their faces twitch the same way. it's hilarious.
guess what else....she was just released from....uhh....a closed regimen of some form of incarceration...i printed this description out and included the series on a disk just recently...i wonder how they react once they see this....maybe along similar "WTF" lines...anyway, my bicycles all broke down, word got out...i got Mia's old girl's bike for myself to use...it needed some minor tweaks, some maintenance...and just yesterday, i did 40km/h on flat ground on this bike...a teenage girl's regular bike...it's hilarious...comfortable...i don't need another one.
someone's been on my phone, too...with stuff like...the phone shutting off from 50% battery capacity and booting up at 5% every time i tried taking a picture potentially relevant to national security...my keyboard's been locked up at least three times during usage, similarily in contexts where they may have been applicable to national security...it was clear, i'd been under surveillance, so i took that into account and put on a little show this way....you know, like look at interesting videos they haven't heard of with the subtitles on, like phil schneider's...
i revisited his videos and HOLY SHIT...i must've missed or forgotten a lot...i only remembered the bits about his fingers being blown off and something about val valiant thor at the pentagon, but man...this stuff seriously got me wondering how he managed to learn all this on a diet of mcdonalds and soda or whatever...it's very impressive in my book...much respect.
i even played a little prank on them, once i was aware i was being surveilled...first of all, i mailed them (the feds, most of the relevant agencies), about my GoPro routes, sohey, mething like: "hey, um, did you know, that this place, where y'all keep the ammunitions and the rest of the wares and artillery of your entire nation, has a pretty good escape route to go to the airport in 10 minutes on a fast motorcycle and good driver? this works the other way around, too, were there any need to get off a plane and be at the place in 10 minutes, for whatever reason...what's up guys? how are you doing? still haven't responded to my e-mails? why? oh well...". i went there this one time, to check it out, after i'd heard it's got like a...multi-monitor setup there (i'm a fan of these and made one for myself at home...which would be better, had i the room and were the apartment fine..but it's not...i finished mine and it hasn't been used), it was obviously used for regular surveillance...i went there when i intended to go visit the (temporary) offices for the Fire Squad, looking to inquire about a few things...and i went there to the military base where they keep all the nations artillery (pretty much) and asked the guy at the front desk whether he would be willing to accompany me to the Fire Squad, in case there were some trouble and their asses had to be kicked (for whatever reason...plus, they're like...the fire squad guys....they're built like commandos...i'm practically a midget...), but it was obvious he wasn't, so i just had a short little conversation with him and told him this as a bit of a joke....after going there, i also realized why i asked the person this question...
point being, after it was established that it could possibly be 10 minutes from that place to board a plane...i sent a message from my smartphone to a friend of mine...along lines of...
"There's a picture i hope i can send to you here, with a little comment, which only someone who has played gta san andreas can understand to an extent, depending on the context
The picture to be taken is a couple of miles away and goes with a comment. The comment is : los santos airport
It's a little trick some know about
And the picture should be non-sensitive, although the implications themselves are dangerous in the wrong hands...i hope this only illustrates and nothing more...maybe in 30 mins time you will have that picture here
Los Santos airport"

upon which they probably put the local airport on a high-security red alert of heightened awareness....i stayed at home for a good 15 minutes, eating and preparing...and went to take the picture...i took it and sent it to him...then pedalled back...stopped on a bench half-way on the path...begun typing my message to him...and the phone shut off like 3-4 times in a row...i had to boot it up, keep it on flight mode, open the discord app while offline, type my message in fully beforehand, before even considering sending it, then turning the internet on and pushing the button...i did that and the phone shut off within a second or less of the internet being on, but the message was delivered...plus, the way they shut the phone off, it meant i also had to remove the battery for it to even start up again...it's hilarious, knowing that the danger's been lacking completely on my part...a sense of dark humor is like clean water...not everyone has it, and not everyone gets hit either... this is what i wrote and sent to him:
"i made a little clip-cut from the film "The Departed" to illustrate this kind of scenario in employments...in it, alec baldwin says something like "i want all ideas, so that i can pass them off as my own and take credit for them", which all-in-all is totally fine, but for it to apply to me on a personal level, it would either have to be compensated for adequately or in another country, where this can already be assumed...all along, all i needed was an uncontaminated place to stay (still do, but now, even if the apartment i am currently staying in, would be fully renovated and up to my specifications of what i intended for it in the first place, i still want to make some money as fast and effectively and efficiently as possible and move away, firstly because i still find it very hard to breathe in there for a multitude of reasons and secondly because there are a lot of un-remediable situations to do with the location and apartment itself and the people involved....) that, and to eat the food available in the shops of my choice and to play some good quality video games of my choice...it has been my desire and it still is...last year i saw my health getting better and saw that this coyld be very good already in spring 2019 where my football skills and other health parameters improved enough for me to see that if i put in the work, i am pretty much guaranteed to get satisfactory results....
"That's it?", an element of surprise with a perhaps only slightly disappointing feel to it...
"That's all you needed? All this time?" yeap""

this was on 09/06/2020, means 6th of September, this year...what i meant by Los Santos Airport, was a picture of a local small military base...ever tried getting there in san andreas without a license? yeap...

i'm fairly certain this is one of the most irrelevant bases out here, so no one probably cares about this...but the mechanics are the same and i found it slightly funny...hope this is allowed.

i also used to like the "Limitless" movie from 2011...i consider it too violent and dangerous these days...but, i figured a bit of reflection might be useful...here's my latest comment on it:

"There is a logical fallacy in the Limitless movie from 2011...the russian mobster there, gennady...he shows up at Eddie's apartment...says he's going into import and export...injects himself with a dose of the drug, which obviously makes everyone on it magnitudes sharper...the other one is in withdrawal and was about to kill himself by jumping off from a skyscraper, where he lives...and then this guy just kills him? That's the fallacy...it's two options in my opinion...either gennady let himself be killed...or it was some Hollywood special effects....in the spy movie from 2019, anna, you can see the same guy says he's in the import-export business...so what's up? i looked at the Limitless film itself and realized that i like gennady more than Eddie, and that he probably has more integrity, too, even if it sounds absurd...it's not...""
PS. they also hacked my phone approximately a year ago...i got their IP and some data, which was without proxy...i reported this...they've been investigating for a year and told me something like..."we've only got one suspect, but we're uncertain whether it's the same person who did the hack...release of information only with permission from the prosecution"
means "we're actually investigating you and it was one of our peoples (employees) that hacked you, who we're refusing to investigate and implicate, SO UP YOURS YOU TOOL!!!"
there's other things too, like...after posting on ConCen, i had three tori black accounts writing to me...the person wrote in English with Russian grammatical rules and in it's syntax...
Asked me a very particular question three times, which only a federal agent would have known or wanted to ask...and even before that, i told the person using the account...something like..."if i had to guess, breaking the fifth wall for a moment...in Hanna, the TV-series...there's someone called Teri Miller, writing to all of the girls during their military training...."blah blah
Basically, it looks like it's too dangerous for them to even attempt to do things such as this, because they're used to everyone being retards when it comes to technologies, hence...they might've been used to the idea that they'll never get caught...and they've just been implicating themselves...the tori black account itself engaged in identity theft and attempts at fraud...

crystalfarm45
i went to the old lady's place this one time...

the one approaching her nineties...she had this toothpaste that had written on it "Tartar protection", which probably means something to do with tooth decay...
but i interpreted it as her simply being a really good person, especially when compared to the rest...just google "tartarus" or "tartar + bible" and see what i mean...
it makes sense even in this crazy context...you know...i found out my favorite person in the whole wide world...is the sandman...and he passed away recently...
...oh well...PS...i couldn't write properly, because i didn't have a proper place to stay...every day meant suffocation in contamination...hence...i figured...might as well try...
to write down something useful to be used later...so i wouldn't have to again....plus...the thing with these is, if you're genuinely upset about something...it gets written differently...

euxconcen
I had trouble following the

I had trouble following the first 2/3 of your post above but it was easier to catch your point towards the end. 

some thoughts/comments:

tartar + tartarus = hahahaha, I had never made that connection before. heelarius, bro -- because you know old ladies shouldn't neglect their gums! (I'm thinking of that scene in Jim Carrey's "Yes, man" movie with his neighbor removing her false teeth...if you've seen it, you know what I'm talking about

--

what do you mean the sandman passed away? did they kill off the character in the comic?

---

sorry to hear that you didn't have a proper place to stay -- yeah, that will affect your ability to write and think and feel calm. and it is very true that we write differently in the moment, after time for reflection, and if you are upset. actually, this is not just limited to writing: the entire narrative of our world takes on different tones due to such differences. when you are depressed, the world has one narrative; when you are on top of the world, it has an entirely different one. there are not two worlds, just different narratives/ways of thinking. curiously, psychologists don't really talk about that stuff much. 

--

I can't remember limitless...will re-watch. is that the one where they just take a pill and are suddenly geniuses? that is the total american (pipe)dream at the moment. 

--

phone hacking and illicit surveillance is not good and takes a HUGE toll on one's psyche (see notes above about alternate narratives).

--

how long were you in prison?

how physically fit are you?

crystalfarm45
i only did my first pull-up ever...earlier this year.

Okay, i'll take those points into account and try to re-write them later, when i feel able. i'm going to paste a few private chats to answer some of your questions.
i wrote these just now to a friend of mine and i'm going to re-use them here in the appropriate context (writing is a rather strenuous thing, actually)
1+2: N/A
3+4+5: Yeap.
6. 11 months, released a month early on my second term of review for good behavior (It's standard and proportionate in light of what i did and therefore i consider it fair.) Four months in "holding", but all this is just to put things into context...it's the psychiatric equivalents and i was sent there, unable to be held accountable for what i did as per some legislative points.
I consider this to be fair too, because my evaluation of this, is that the entire thing which put me there, actually took place due to the person, who i attacked, ultimately...as a result of long-term responsibilities and carelessness...and this is something that doesn't even show on my criminal record. officially, i've still got a clean record...means i can still go to the states, i think. I think they point they use it as implies "Too crazy for any statements to even hold any value or truth to them". The initial court report was accurate. The psychiatric ones are bunk.
If you want to imagine what happened, just look up pictures of "Kenny Linder" from Fast and Furious (2001), morph it with a picture of Hillary Clinton...and there you have my grandmother (who i still live with as of today). In that movie, Tanner looks a lot like my grandfather, who lives out of state...he's the husband of the one who lost their child in 2005...By the way, Mr. Paul Walker reminds me of the same stepfather...the one who looks like a 1:1 carbon copy of Erik Heller in Hanna...now, if you look at this guy...you will see someone that died in a car crash, when someone else was driving in a sports car (Oh, the irony...), considered a legend in the automotive and film industry, for the roles he played as Brian...BUT...consider this...if you look at 2 Fast 2 Furious and what he does there...going for something which looks very disrespectful...going for a head-to-head collision on the same route during a race to steal the win....That's....that's just stupid...if and when people race for pinks...they ought to do this only when they are able to face all of the potential consequences (if at all...), when they can afford it and when they can forfeit their wager fair and square...As opposed to when having "Rent to pay"...that's the same thing at play....the same applies in the Casino and in the every day life, too...in more aspects than just Gambling and Businesses...The guy himself, the stepfather...he's the kind of guy that has lived every moment of his life with integrity, care, attention to details...moral values (despite implications of criminal activities...which, by the way, is a very important point of consideration to take into account, especially when including the rest of the mentioned parameters and also in the lives of everyone else...), and yet he's been left with a child that is most probably someone else's....left without pay for the very high quality work he's been doing, which is the kind of error-correction that made their expensive projects even usable at all...with brain cancer for which he takes chemo pills from all the shit he's been having from life (shitty events and people cause these too, FYI...)...and he's also had like five heart attacks in the past year or two, all of which he's been temporarily hospitalized for, to immediately return to work again...at the fault of someone else, i'd say...
i wrote about this to the feds and told them that they should actually consider hiring this guy, because he can get the job done...whatever it is...and that he can do it properly...anyway...

There was someone there at the maximum security ward for the criminally insane, called Fidel. He had that same look as my grandfather from out of state...(e was a welder, still is a fishing enthusiast...pretty good at chess and overall good guy...)...goatee and everything...except way shorter, about my height.
He had committed arson on some local church as far as i know, and later got hit by a car somewhere, rendering him crippled and physically disabled in part. He walked around with a limp, which i imitated sometimes...like i did with the guy who looks like Mr. Bean (in for murder, but peaceful and mostly cheerful, watching television all the time and taking notes from the news), raising his knees to a 90 degree angle every time...the guy, named Fidel...i thought it was a nickname one of the girls gave him (who also treated him nicely)...referencing Mr. Castro, but it turns out that's his actual real name....his head also kept moving back and forth and up and down...maybe some neurological thing...plus he kept drooling all the time...
Anyway...you can see, that this guy was totally crippled...but, he did do his fair share of exercising and working out in the gym we had access to indoors (with very light weights, but some access nonetheless...the heavier stuff was in another building, which we could use every morning after breakfast, if there was a desire to do so...). He kept bending his fingers as much as he could...lifted the dumbells and everything....his speech was severely distorted and he was gasping for air frequently, when talking to someone...but communication was still possible....he got out before he did, transferred to a care home...i have no idea how long he was there for, but before that happened (after a guard went to accompany him in the bi-yearly review of whether someone should be submitted for release consideration to the courts and told the doctors that he belongs elsewhere and that it's inappropriate for him to stay longer), there was this incident in the yard...we had a good hour of two of fresh air in the yard almost every day where applicable (meaning unless there was a pressing reason to stay inside, we got to go outside...). A smaller yard with a basketball hoop....the size of a....well, small...but it had metal fences of around....20-30 feet high...they opened these sometimes, especially in the summer....there was a bigger area to plant and grow vegetables in...a small area to do some minor cooking or whatever...basic stuff...also surrounded by a fence like that...really high...and this one time, when very few people were looking at all...and the guard told me this....Mr. Fidel, the almost completely crippled old guy (he was about 50 at the time AFAIK), scaled this entire thing and climbed over and was making his escape....when, considering all the factors....in any case...is very very very impressive...he got out after this enormous feat.
As for physical fitness, let me paste this: "It may look like i'm in tip-top shape...actually, pretty much my entire body is hurting...from my legs to the back to the neck...i look in better shape than ever, yet i've barely got any mobility left....this is because of a lack of specific training, actually moving...fixed, rigid positions (such as when bicycling and sitting on the computer) and this in turn is because i hate doing these things in front of other people and because my home is a mess without space to do it...and it actually requires very little, which i've been lacking...
when i wake up in the morning, it's too much effort to even stand up...to get dressed....to undo the padlocks to even go outside for a quick walk"
i've got what looks like an untreated spinal cord and neck injury, which expressed itself in poor circulation in the hands and feet (members) and immediate pain in the localities, and which probably have grown out of alignment by now (not only untreated, but also without having even been inspected thus far...it's been a year, now...)
my stamina is poor, due to lung issues from my home and mold, but...it'll go away very quickly...during the summer, there was this time....where...i decided...OKAY, i cannot breathe, let's go outside for a bicycle ride before i go to sleep...like...10pm....10-15 miles...and every step of the way, i was gasping for air, my nose stuffed, feeling like i was going to have a heart attack and trying to calm myself down....this passed very quickly (due to me having done enormous amounts of training before, making recovery much easier) and soon enough, i was doing 30 miles per day and even taking the same detour when coming home late at night, so that my lungs would be in better condition, and that i would have more fresh air in my system...i also recorded some of this with my GoPro...so i think that illustrates these things a bit..."Holding" in the earlier context meant "regular psych ward", which has been a place of refuge in the past on many occasions, despite several of my admittances there having been...for the most part, questionable, in my opinion...but regardless...i made good friends there.
"people might think i would like to go outside...play football...go around on my bicycle...it's the opposite...i want to stay away as far away from people as possible....anyone and everyone for the most part....playing football or pedalling around means there's always way too many people around, too look at, which is actually much more disturbing to me than the benefit gained from these activities...this means i would prefer to stay indoors at a pleasant accomodation and do prefer strength training and like, yoga, to these...you'd be surprised at how much can really be done within those parameters...."

i only did my first pull-up ever...earlier this year....but i could do 10 half-handstand push-ups at 250 pounds and 5'7"...now what does that tell you about my condition and everything else?

euxconcen wrote:

I had trouble following the first 2/3 of your post above but it was easier to catch your point towards the end. 
some thoughts/comments:
tartar + tartarus = hahahaha, I had never made that connection before. heelarius, bro -- because you know old ladies shouldn't neglect their gums! (I'm thinking of that scene in Jim Carrey's "Yes, man" movie with his neighbor removing her false teeth...if you've seen it, you know what I'm talking about
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what do you mean the sandman passed away? did they kill off the character in the comic?
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sorry to hear that you didn't have a proper place to stay -- yeah, that will affect your ability to write and think and feel calm. and it is very true that we write differently in the moment, after time for reflection, and if you are upset. actually, this is not just limited to writing: the entire narrative of our world takes on different tones due to such differences. when you are depressed, the world has one narrative; when you are on top of the world, it has an entirely different one. there are not two worlds, just different narratives/ways of thinking. curiously, psychologists don't really talk about that stuff much. 
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I can't remember limitless...will re-watch. is that the one where they just take a pill and are suddenly geniuses? that is the total american (pipe)dream at the moment. 
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phone hacking and illicit surveillance is not good and takes a HUGE toll on one's psyche (see notes above about alternate narratives).
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how long were you in prison?
how physically fit are you?

TheCorsair00
Reading
Quote:

i wrote these just now to a friend of mine and i'm going to re-use them here in the appropriate context (writing is a rather strenuous thing, actually)

For me it is reading that is getting more and more strenuous. I have difficulty responding to large messages, so don't feel offended if I ever leave you hanging...

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