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Do Not Eat Pringles Fat Free Potato Chips. They Will Grease Your Ass.
08-30-2007, 04:43 PM,
#16
Do Not Eat Pringles Fat Free Potato Chips. They Will Grease Your Ass.
LOL, I needed that.
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08-30-2007, 06:56 PM,
#17
Do Not Eat Pringles Fat Free Potato Chips. They Will Grease Your Ass.
I don't eat anything diet, fat free, low fat or sugar free. There always is a catch. And by catch I mean chemicals or other things that don't belong in there.
Btw, don't drink diet coke. For frell's sake, don't drink coke.

Enough for now, you know what I mean.
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08-30-2007, 08:05 PM,
#18
Do Not Eat Pringles Fat Free Potato Chips. They Will Grease Your Ass.
The sugar - insulin reaction makes fat - Dr Atkins.

For some people fat in foods can be a problem but Atkins must have been
talking to someone by promotion dairy and meat protein with fat content.

He was big on oils as well.... OMEGA oils and such.
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08-30-2007, 09:01 PM,
#19
Do Not Eat Pringles Fat Free Potato Chips. They Will Grease Your Ass.
agree about the coke and diet coke.

Coke has ten teaspoons of sugar per can thats 5 times more than you body has to have in its bloodstream, your body pumps out insulin by the bucketload to reduce the glucose level and you get increased chance of diabities, a downer effect, even bone weakness and of course fat.

Diet coke does all the above but the suger is aspertame (look up aspertame sickness). This is a brain poison that is not fit for human consumption. It is likely the cause of the large increase in parkinsons and altziemers.

All diet, sugar free or no added sugar products contain aspertame.

DJ
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08-30-2007, 09:06 PM,
#20
Do Not Eat Pringles Fat Free Potato Chips. They Will Grease Your Ass.
Quote:First let me say it incredible you had the balls to immortalize your shard, online.

Second, there are so many chemicals and modified proteins that eating more than a serving of any processed food will most likely result in liquid shit.

Your body was not meant to eat this crap, and thats exactly what it is; CRAP.

Sure it may taste great for the few seconds its on your tongue, but once its down the hatch it beats the shit out of your body.
That was some good pun :biggrin:
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08-30-2007, 09:22 PM,
#21
Do Not Eat Pringles Fat Free Potato Chips. They Will Grease Your Ass.
Going to Gator aid for salts may be bad, well it has sugars...

I thought orange flavor was bad with some bichromated ester of oil (I have seen this in orange soda),

the fruit flavor has esters of wood (thank God no bromine).

(going by memory on this .....running on caffeine...)
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08-31-2007, 02:57 AM,
#22
Do Not Eat Pringles Fat Free Potato Chips. They Will Grease Your Ass.
Quote:Date: 2006-07-17, 2:10AM PDT


Don't even fucking say a word. I like potato chips, and can't eat them very much or I'll get fat.

I tried out these Pringles Fat-Free chips because they were super low-cal. BBQ flavor. the fuck.

The can said they had 70 calories per serving, which meant the whole can had 490 calories inside total. I could munch through a can in a day with my lunch, dinner, etc. So I got several cans, and began enjoying one a day for the past four days. But what they dont fucking tell you...

Except in tiny print you cant read without a fucking electron microscope

...is that the primary ingredient is something called "olean" which I have since learned is Latin for "Unwashable & Indestructible Ass Grease."

Oh Yeah. I'm not even kidding.

So today, while I'm standing in the living room debating whether or not Laundry or Dishes will get done first, I get the urge to fart. I live alone, so sweet. I let the honk loose and its wrong. Something just sounded wrong. I know my own wind, and I have never farted a sound that sounded like a fart wrapped in a pillow.

Oh yes, something was very wrong. I had just shat myself. But this evil olean makes shitting yourself sound almost like a regular fart, and had I not been particularly attentive, it could easily have gone unnoticed, I'm telling you. THAT's how utterly covert and evil this olean stuff is. What the fuck?! What if I'd gone out to hang with friends or gone for a drive, what then?

So I walk carefully to the bathroom and disrobe. before I even sit on the toilet, I wad paper and carefully wipe from the front. Sure enough, it was light brown, and had the texture of soft spackle. You fucking Pringle bastards.

I sat down and pushed a bit, and lo, out came a jet that I didnt even feel an urge for one minute earlier. It piled in the bowl like brown marshmallow fluff.

The problem rose when I tried to wipe. I went through a whole fucking roll of TP and could not get it all off me. So.

I jumped in the shower. Yep, its gross, but it had to be done. There I stood, water pouring down, cheeks spread, and using my own hand to make certain I'm clean.

That was when I discovered that after using my hand to wipe myself (before I soaped the area) my hand came back covered in some sort of transparent grease. It was so fucking foul. The grease made water bead off my hand. It was tacky too, and very difficult to manage.

So I grabbed the bar of saop and went to work.

You fucking Pringle bastards.

The bar of soap came away coated in grease as well, and would no longer wash. I had to turn the water to hot and massage the soap for five minutes to get it to the point where I could use it again. It took me an hour to get the fucking grease off my pucker. I shudder to think of what its doing INSIDE ME right now, but I will damned sure never eat that shit again.

Fucking Pringle bastards.

This is where the joke about "anal leakage" came from. its real. Fuck Pringles.

* this is in or around ANAL LEAKAGE, ANYBODY?
* no -- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Link
o yes very good i needed this i was eating cornflakes now i have milk comeing down my nose and cornflakes all over my pc and the wall.lol very good i was feeling like shit till i read this.
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09-04-2007, 06:29 PM,
#23
Do Not Eat Pringles Fat Free Potato Chips. They Will Grease Your Ass.
Wow! What Stinks?

© 2002 by hans@shadowculture.com


Congratulations on your purchase of Frito-Lay's new Wow! brand fat-free snack chips. As Wow! chips are made with Procter & Gamble's ground-breaking new fat substitute Olean, we've provided you this handy Q&A brochure to help dispel any untruths you may have heard in the liberal media about this wholesome, delicious food-like substance, now available in products found in supermarkets throughout the country.

Q. What is Olean?

A. Olean is the brand name for "olestra," an amazing new fat substitute from Procter & Gamble. Last year, olestra was infused into snack chips planted in select, unsuspecting test markets across the country. Most people who enjoyed these snacks reported that the chips were wholesome and delicious. However, some consumers did call our comment line to report "explosive diarrhea," anal leakage and "stomach pains like in 'Alien'," reports which were then, unfortunately, taken out of context by the liberal media.

Q. Given that fateful encounter, what steps has Procter & Gamble taken to improve olestra in recent years?

A. It renamed the substance "Olean."

Q. How does Olean work?

A. Olean keeps your body from absorbing fat by accelerating it through your digestive system at speeds upwards of 100 miles an hour. The resultant stomach pain and embarrassing discharge is often such that consumers cannot stomach food of any kind for several days, leading to further weight loss and resultant healthful effects.

Q. Will Olean affect vitamins in my body?

A. Yes. It will hoover them from your system faster than a White House intern. At Procter & Gamble, we're proud to be among the first companies to bring a food product to market that not only has no inherent nutritional value, but actually flushes other nutrients (such as vitamins A, D, E and K) from your body. Truly, this is progress at its best.

Q. How do I know Olean is safe?

A. Olean is one of the most-tested products to ever gain FDA approval, joining the proud ranks of other food-like substances such as saccharin, aspartame and disodium guanylate. In addition, we're a large American corporation, and thus can assure the trustful public that we'd never feed the populace anything harmful (like tobacco) just to turn a quick buck.

Q. Is it true that there's an entire Web site devoted to "olestra haiku" at http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~kosak/olestra/?

A. No. Absolutely not.

Q. Why call these chips Wow!?

A. Shortly after eating Wow! brand snacks, many of our customers were heard to say "Wow! These sure are wholesome and delicious!" We steadfastly deny reports from the liberal media that others were heard to say, "Wow! My stomach hurts!", "Wow! I guess that's what they mean by 'anal leakage'!" or "Wow! I guess this pretty much ends our blind date!"

Q. How is it possible to get people to buy a product best known for its capacity to induce "anal leakage" anyway?

A. Frankly, we don't appreciate your tone. Anal leakage is no laughing matter. We are committed to fighting the scourge of anal leakage and the heartbreak it causes. In fact, at Procter & Gamble's underground labs, scientists are currently working day and night to produce an improved version of Olean that may -- now we're not promising anything here -- but just may provide the same healthful benefits of Olean with 15% less anal leakage! Truly, yet more proof that this a great time to be alive.

Q. Why should I choose Wow! snack chips?

A. Because you're an American, and America enjoys the curious dichotomy of being a chronically overweight nation which worships a chronically underweight body image. As a citizen of this very special country, you have the God-given right to enjoy a perfect body without suffering unpleasant side effects such as "nutrition" or "exercise." At long last, Olean gives you a means to exercise that sense of entitlement. Enjoy your fat-free fat, proud citizens, and God bless America.
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09-04-2007, 07:53 PM, (This post was last modified: 09-04-2007, 07:54 PM by NoSlave.)
#24
Do Not Eat Pringles Fat Free Potato Chips. They Will Grease Your Ass.
[Image: tpjoke.jpg]
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