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Economic Models Explained With Cows (2007 Edition)
01-08-2007, 06:12 PM, (This post was last modified: 01-08-2007, 06:15 PM by Ognir.)
#1
Economic Models Explained With Cows (2007 Edition)
SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour.<!--fontc--><!--/fontc-->

COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.
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FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.
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NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.
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BUREAUCRATISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, then throws the milk away...
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TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
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SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
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AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
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ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new President of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.
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THE ANDERSEN MODEL: You have two cows. You shred them.
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A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.
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A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'cowkimon' and market it worldwide.
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A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
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AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.
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A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
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A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.
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A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the real situation. <!--fontc--><!--/fontc-->

AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.
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A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad.
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WELSH CORPORATION: You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.
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AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.<!--fontc--><!--/fontc--><!--fontc--><!--/fontc-->

IRAQI CORPORATION: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the shit out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy....
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01-08-2007, 06:57 PM,
#2
Economic Models Explained With Cows (2007 Edition)
:scream::yuck: :tongue:
the enron one was my favorite.
[Image: terrorists_230606.gif]
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01-09-2007, 12:07 AM,
#3
Economic Models Explained With Cows (2007 Edition)
LOL!! I liked the iraqi corporation:)
Reply
01-09-2007, 03:51 AM, (This post was last modified: 01-09-2007, 03:53 AM by Conspiracy Dave.)
#4
Economic Models Explained With Cows (2007 Edition)
Hows about this one:

CANADIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad. You try to sell them but nobody wants them. So you just go out of business after you sell one to your own population really cheap, and the other one dies.
Do you really think your a higher form of life? You...With your dripping jaws, and your bloodshot eyes. You...With your varicosities and your vermin for an appendix. You...with your hemroids and assterioids. Often I wake up at night and ponder these matters. And then I feel very strongly that I should talk them over with Brother Theodore...and then, and then I wake up fully and remember that I am Brother Theodore. And my heart aches. And my tears flow. And I see my Aunt Marie floating in the chicken soup...more dead than alive...more naked than not. And oh, now I see a mailman, a mailman giving birth to a dog of all things!

Never a moments peace, never a moments peace...never a moments peace.
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