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10-07-2007, 11:07 PM,
So next time you think - FK(ing) LIAR! Realize, you may be closer to the truth than you think.

Here's why:
10-11-2007, 01:25 AM,
wow I think i know someone like this . Pretty intense site. It's hard to believe that someone can be so hollow and false, like they are playing a role. Reminds me of the ORGANIC PORTAL concept I saw at the Signs of the Times site . ( coincides with the Masks of Sanity Book and psychopathic behavioural traits. ) thanks for the post lain!
&Spirituality is not a child play. My words will tear apart anyone who listens to them....&
&The search for reality is the most dangerous of all undertakings for it destroys the world in which you live.&

- Nisargadatta Maharaj
10-11-2007, 01:43 AM,
That was some strange reading, that’s for sure. Interesting though, I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone in person like that, although there‘s probably been a few online, that I was unaware of.

I can’t imagine what it would be like to be that empty inside, scary really.
10-12-2007, 10:43 AM, (This post was last modified: 10-20-2007, 07:06 AM by SerialExpLain.)
I've known a few that seemed to be dangerous, beyond the garden variety narcissistic rage. I actually lived with one on and off for three years. He was very open to describing what it felt like to be one. From knowing him, that is when I started my studies about it. He said he was always bored and had to keep moving. A restlessness came over him about every three hours and he needed to go somewhere else, i.e., to keep the rage from manifesting.

He used to tell me stories that left me feeling very much not at ease with him. Several weeks after he moved in he told me "he wasn't aright in the head" and that whatever went wrong in our relationship it wasn't my fault. (Subsequently, I found out that he had adopted that approach after one of his girlfriends had a suicide attempt over his antics and her psychiatrist actually wanted to meet him, and he did, he met with the psychiatrist.)

He stressed that this one friend of his was identical to him, he would say that again and again -- really really stressing the issue. The only problem, that guy was dead from a suicide after he had killed three of his close friends.

Another story was about a girl he knew who died when a "piece of metal from a car went through her head", it was just the way he said it. He told me repeatedly about that.

I used to find him listening to Tangled Up and Blue and Maxwell's Silver Hammer a lot. He actually went way out of the way to get both of those.

He was very secretive about his past. But the rages and outrageous behavior were why I started reading.

Outrageous to the point, he calls me to follow him to where he was making a used car sales, I wait in the car, he sells the car, but then takes off up into the neighborhood, obviously he had a place he went to on foot and there I sat like a fool in the car waiting for him, walking around the neighboorhood. Outrageous to the point he came over my place about five hours later acting like nothing had happened.

I instinctively, didn't ask any questions. Just knew that I had to get away. Oddl, my very first instant impression was a bad bad one, but then I let his charm influence my sense. (He was extremely good looking and I guess that was why I was a zombie, I was 26 at the time.)

I had Psychopaths by Harrington and Cleckleys Mask of Sanity at my place, then I noticed those two books missing for about 2 months. Then I noticed they were returned. He admitted he had read them and he agreed totally. He agreed that when you are a psychopath that "all cats are grey at night", they cannot differentiate, because it is as if they were color-blind. He said it was no different for him to be with a Miss America or a war pig -- all the same to him.

He said he had never just "allowed" himself to be happy. Once when we were walking out in a snowfall, he told me that was the first time he had been happy in five years. He was looking at the sky going I can't believe it, I'm happy.

With women, he told me, he sensed I wanted a boy scout-type and adopted that persona but if he sensed I wanted a biker, he would have projected that.

He told me there was nothing to love in him. That he didn't have a soul.

He used to have really grusome nightmares several times a week. I didn't ask him what they were about, until he was ready to talk about it. He said, you don't understand, people are getting dismembered.
He used to cling to me for dear life shaking before he fell asleep.

At close to the end of the third year, I asked him if he had ever done anything real bad, he said in the voice of a small child - "like what", I said murder? And in that small child voice he said YES!. From that moment on, I was the actress in the relationship as I was very very afraid of him. Luckily, this confession occurred at a time when we weren't living together and never did we live together again. He used to stalk me, and it was a good thing that I got married and moved out of state because I grew extremely scared of him. He was a PI and he could get in anywhere and knew how to stake-out, tap phones, follow behind several cars. But moreover, he was in to stalking me. It was scary.

Immediately, after "the confession" we contined with our dinner plans, and as we sat in the restaurant he kept searching my face for fear. I had rather covered my tracks because I had informed him that I had called a friend and told her where we were going and I am sure he was wondering what else I told her, and I kind of looked at him like you bet I told her. So, anyway while in the restaurant he's all searching my face for a reaction, I'm not showing any fear. Then he says to me. I can't go to jail you know, all upset.

Shortly after that, we were at another restaurant and I guess I just wasn't totally sure or was in shock, but I told him that forensics could now get a photo of the last scene that someone saw when they died off their retina. He believed it, it upset him. We were leaving the restarant and his eyes were just darting from side to side -- which is not a good sign at all. They do that before they kill sometimes. I got into a car with him and he pulled a his huge magnum (Miami Vice gun) and pulled it right up to my head. I still wasn't scared. Or maybe scared to me is just a numb feeling, but all I said was go ahead D, you'd be doing me a favor. Then, he flips this switch and turns all brotherly and is telling me what a great person I am and how much I have to live for. Light switch on. Light switch off.

His family lived in CA, and he usually spent six months in CA and six months in CT. It really made me wonder, if someone died in CA shortly before going to CT. He lived in the San Diego area -- a lot of women there for a professed womanizer or worse. He used to joke about dating the entire San Diego telephone directory, and I saw a daily planner for those times there and my God, by the notations he very well might have.

Since the time we lived together I noticed the rages and the shape changing episodes. He is the only one I ever knew who had a rage, that was so powerful you could feel it from another room when "the beast was out" You could also see an amphromorphic snout and his eyes were really really weird in this rage. The guy looked a lot like a young Paul Wolfowitz at a lot of angles, and I definitely got this werewolf perception off the rage -- which was strong like a lightnight bolt. His rage wasn't ever out more than several seconds but it was like a lightening bolt and it was very telekinetic -- it felt like gravity was increased and you were being pushed down into a couch.

I had gone to a psychic for a reading and she said you know someone whose energy is like a lightening bolt. You could see this really upset her as she felt it. When I told him about the psychic, he and his boss - another P.I. were very impressed and wanted to go to this psychic. Another reason, might have been that she said she saw cops all around me. And that night, I got pulled over. And the following night, me and a girlfriend were pulled over.

I never viewed people the same after that. This guy looked SO normal. Nobody would ever ever know.

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