A Question for Christians on God

[EireWarrior]

I've got a question.

I am/was/not sure in limbo right now, if the lord is real.

First off, I dont get why he would choose only 144 thousand people of his choice to go with him to the "Higher Heaven" and leave the rest of use in "Normal Heaven" I just dont get it? It's in the bible, deffo quoted it wrongly but you should know what i mean.

There is war/ death [CHILDREN FUCKING DIE SOME EVIL DEATHS] but "He the lord" does nothing, BUT HE LOVES YOU! .... WHAT!

I cannot believe it, I'm a farther and I'd fucking slap the head off anyone that touched my child, Why doesnt he do anything if he is REAL!?

Please I'm Irish Catholic born and breed, I still teach my son to believe in god, and respect the bible for now. But, man i'm so fucking confussed in the head if he is real.

Yeah theres stories of him, But answer me this: Would you believe there was a God if nobody wrote the bible?

I mean ffs the "LORD" SITS BY OUR SIDES, HIS ALWAYS THERE FOR US, ha! Yeah Right.

Trust me when i say this I DO WANT TO BELIEVE THERE IS A GOD, but I am finding out more and more in my everyday life and stories from the past, that prove more so that there is not, rather than there is.

Funny as it may sound, I still bless myself while passing a church, but, i weirdly say "I pray you are real"

Think of nature, the Mayfly lives for what one or too days then dies, we live roughly 80-100yrs est. then die.
It's the way of life, just because were human beings doesnt mean were anymore special. We live / We die that's it.... and after that DARKNESS..... I'm starting to believe this is the way more and more, and nothing yet has convinced me otherwise. But I pray something does.

I'm fucking SOOOOO confused when it comes to religon now in this day and age :sad: