Taser Releases Home Version

[TriWooOx]

Quote:TASER, MAKER OF party favours and Youtube video accessories extraodinaire has a new toy to keep those whining kids quiet, the Taser C2. This one is aimed at more the home user than the bully-boy set, and has a bunch of features to make it more friendly.

The smooth user friendly shape of the new C2 says personal security, and the four new colors, Black Pearl, Titanium Silver, Electric Blue and Metallic Pink, will complement any wardrobe while the evildoer is twitching at your feet soiling himself. While it may look feminine, it is all business and the majority of purchasers are men.



The C2 will stop an attacker at up to 15 feet, comes with an optional laser sight, and has a built in LED light. It has a trigger lock, ergonomic handgrip, and a 30 second pulse feature so you can run the h**l away while they twitch in pools of bodily fluids.

How does it work? You point it at the bad guy or bad girl, pull the trigger, and two barbs on wires are shot out and embed themselves in your attackers flesh. It then sends enough high voltage, low amperage electricity down those wires to turn the strongest of people into quaking jello.

The barbs are hooked so they stick in and stay put. Unlike other electrically based anti-bad person devices, there is little chance of slippage with the barbs on the new C2. Drop the scum with confidence, they will stay where you embed them.

The Taser C2 costs a mere $350 with the laser sight and a single cartridge. Without the laser, it is only $300, quite the stealbargain. Extra carts are 2/$50 or 4/$100, you can drop all the uppity people at a staff meeting for under $1000, what a bargain.µ

Editorial note: The Inquirer is looking for a volunteer to help with a review of this device. Duties will include being tasered 70-80 times over the course of an afternoon under various test conditions. Bandaids and soft drinks will be provided. Must have own insurance.

http://www.theinquirer.net/default.aspx?article=37020